So this is cool because I am pretty sure anyone who potentially read my blog before definitely gave up on me. If you happen to read this…be easy on me. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve written like this.
I’ve been wanted to start my blog again for months now but I had not a clue what to write about. I certainly could not just catch everybody up on the past 6 months of my life. Believe me..you don’t want to know. Since summer insanity happened. Literally I not only closed and opened a new chapter of my life…I think I started a whole new book. I’m living in a new place, surrounded by new people, and the biggest of all changes dating someone different. Although this post is not going to be about that or him, know that things are wonderful. I’m not sure who or what I have to thank for this but this entire semester has been wonderful. This is 100% the longest I have gone as a college student without getting sick (knock of got-damn wood). Literally not even a COLD! Most impressive is not only me not getting sick during the run of the show I was in Company, BUT I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A MENTAL BREAK DOWN DURING IT! I’m exercising, eating healthily, getting my school work down, and living happily. Things are looking up.
So why today? Why decide to pick up the Happy Reprise for just that, a happy reprise? A couple of things. The new fellow in my life was inspired lately by his Stage Design class and decided to keep a personal journal that recalled the events of the day. I want to read it! But I realize…curiosity killed the cat. Hearing him enjoy his journal so made me miss me wee ol’ blog. Which led me to read my old entries. Each entry entertained me so much! I’m pretty funny! And a little sad even! However, most recently the tip of inspiration iceberg, was sitting as an audience member at Arena Stage’s production of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolfe. God. Good.
This is the text message I sent to my brother when I walked out of the theater:
“That may have been the most powerful art form I’ve ever seen. I think I have not only reaffirmed why you and I both do theater but why it’s so important to humankind.”
It’s taken a day to digest this play. I am not going to get in to the nitty gritty about because honestly, everyone just needs to go see it, but it effected me in a very interesting way. It got to the point that I was upset that other people were in the theater with me. I was so engaged and involved with this characters that I myself even felt like I was intruding in their lives. I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted to be the only one hearing this story. When the show ended I didn’t want to talk about it with my friends but I couldn’t even articulate my feelings yet. I realized that it wasn’t just the story that affected me. It was the people telling the story and what they did in order to move me. I get so caught up and upset with how selfish acting can be sometime, but those actors were able to move me to a point now that I want to change the way I am approaching things. I know I want to perform. I feel best singing and acting for people. But whenever I think about performing as a way of life…something isn’t complete. There’s a part of this situation that is missing. I can definitely pinpoint that the thing that is missing is the ability to give back or do something for others, make a change for someone. I realized last night that this change doesn’t need to be something life-altering or even tangible. Like I’ve said already I am satisfied with everything in my life right now. I wasn’t going to theater looking for a glimpse of hope or help in a decision or guidance. But I got it all. Those actors changed me and I haven’t fully figured out how yet but this is where I’m out. The importance of creative art and performance as a form of therapy should NEVER be ignored. It could be, in my opinion, the healthiest form of expression that we have. We need it. We all need it. So let’s use it. I want to research and involve myself in theater for change. If that means talking to Jamie Johnson and learning more about drama therapy, or collaborating with my insanely intelligent professor and work with music therapists, I will. I know I want to perform on a stage but if I can help people and impact lives in the meantime, that’d be wonderfully cool. And in my entire acting career, if I can move one person through my performance the way I was moved last night, I will be totally satisfied.
At the start of the semester, I dedicated my focus to a goal self titled Operation Get Famous. Now I think I need to shift a little to Operation Make a Difference…even if it’s for me.
I’ll keep you updated.
Its’ good to be back…
